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do you ever analyze your “position” in a conversation or in a group of friends? what would be missing if you weren’t there? do you ever have off days or are you pretty consistent? i feel like i’m interviewing someone one on one, but these are for anyone to answer. i’ll get the ball rolling:

i always analyze my position in a conversation. but the thing is, as soon as i identify my position, that’s when i take myself out of the conversation. either i can’t get myself to pay attention anymore, or i’m stuck thinking about what my position is. let me explain. my position in a conversation, for example, is usually the comedic interjector. what this means is that i usually don’t input any new information into a conversation, i don’t ask questions; in all senses of the conversation, if carrying the conversation was for some reason left up to me, it would die. however, in a small group between 3 and 6, i can interject with funny comments based on what other people are talking about. so what’s your position? conversation carrier, comedic carrier, serious talker, information seeker/question asker, story-teller, quiet observer, conversation de-railer, or a comedic interjector? these terms can also be mixed and matched. for instance, there can be a story-teller de-railer, or a question interjector, etc. let me define them and maybe you can pick yourself out from the list of descriptions.

conversation carrier – there’s never really much silence in any conversation you are involved in. like the name says, you carry the conversation. you are pretty well rounded in the art of conversation. some funny here, some questions there, maybe a story or two mixed in with some current events going on. you always have something to say to pretty much anyone you’re talking with.

comedic carrier – same as above only not as balanced. conversation with you is always fun, people are drawn to being in conversation with you. you joke around, but it’s a consistent, sustained joking. not like the interjectors who can only spit out a joke or two every once in a while. you don’t really ask questions, but you’ll tell funny stories or quote some funny movies/tv shows.

serious talker – you really just want to get down to the core of it. no small talk, no foolishness. in fact, although a little fun in conversation is condoned, your philosphy is: there has to be a reason to be talking, you don’t talk for no reason. the conversation must be beneficial in some way to one or more parties. your enemy is the comedic carrier. ok, maybe enemy is not the best word. maybe your antithesis. i kinda feel like i’m writing chinese horoscopes.

information seeker/question asker – you want to gain as much as you can in every conversation you have. much like the serious talker, conversations must have a purpose. you usually ask more questions than sentences, which isn’t a bad thing most of the time although sometimes people can feel like they are being interviewed if it’s question after question.

story-teller – you have mastered the art of story-telling. people laugh when you tell a funny story, people are concerned when you tell a sad story. people often stop themselves from continuing on with a story just beause of the fact that you are present so that they can hand over the story to you to be told. you could verbatim say the same thing someone else just said and instantly it would click in peoples’ minds what was said earlier. you, my friend, have a great gift.

quiet observer – i’m a mix between this one and comedic interjector. the quiet observer might not even utter a word the whole conversation, but you usually know they’re there. they mentally take notes about personality types, conversation material, body language, etc. when invited to join a conversation they might give one or two word responses, but generally stay pretty quiet. great partner to the comedic carrier.

conversation de-railer – this is “that guy” or “that girl” who has ADD in the conversation. they might interrupt or ask totally unrelated questions. they’ll focus on a minor detail rather than the main idea. they might even try to make jokes but the only sound that follows is the sound of crickets chirping. enemy of the story-teller.

comedic interjector – usually stays very quiet, but not always depending on the frequency of the interjections. they can’t carry a conversation like the comedic carrier, but their zingers and quips are enough to keep them in the conversation. is usually pretty successful in their joke “batting average” meaning they have more hits than misses in their positive response to their jokes. supports the comedic carrier and slight antithesis of the serious talker.

i’m sure there are a lot more that i forgot to include such as: the downer, the butt of jokes (aka the stop-making-fun-of-me person), the over-hyper just happy to be around people person, and more. which position are you? feel free to add your own.


Written by enoch

July 10, 2008 at 11:41 pm

Posted in social observation

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