where do i go from here?
i’m at the point of making some pretty important decisions in my life. the thing is, i’ve never really been one to make decisions. i mean, we’re talking about the guy who takes an hour at target figuring out what kind of play-doh to buy (true story). so what happens when the decisions aren’t just about kids’ toys but are about something a little more important, such as… let’s say, your life? how does an indecisive guy make a decision about things that would have a more lasting effect?
normally, i’d be pretty stressed out at this point. what if i make the wrong decision? is this what i’m really goign to decide? am i going to regret it later? what would someone else do? hundreds of questions like this would be flooding my mind. and i realize i’m being pretty ambiguous about what kind of decisions i’ll be making, but perhaps in time i will share.
however, something is different about this time. i’ve never really been a very assertive or strong-willed person. i’ve never really had to fight for an opinion (minus my decision to forego med school and law school to go to seminary). but i feel like these decisions that i’m about to make are pretty clear to me and i’m willing to back them up against anyone who feels like i may be doing the wrong thing. luckily, no one i’ve talked to thinks i’m doing the wrong thing. and because i actually have a strong opinion about these changes, i can’t help but think it’s a God thing. meaning: that God is paving the way for me to make these decisions whether it be the right or wrong choices, and i’m totally cool with that. i mean, He does know a lot more than i do. and i’m pretty sure He has my best interest in mind.
so where do i go from here? we’ll see. but i have a pretty good guide. i’m reminded of one of the books in the chronicles of narnia series: the silver chair which i highly recommend. in it, there’s a character named puddleglum who serves as a guide for 2 human children in narnia. the kids don’t particularly like puddleglum and find him to be a sort of a killjoy. they don’t agree with his decisions because they seem so plain or uncertain. but what they don’t realize is that he has the group’s best interest in mind. i feel like i’m being led by puddleglum the marsh wiggle. if i only follow, things will be alright.