chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind


with 7 comments

i admit, i hate talking on the phone.  i am just not a phone person.  i’d much prefer a face-to-face talk or a nice long email.  i prefer emails because it gives me a chance to make sure i communicate everything i want/need to in a concise way.  i’m not really good at thinking on the spot.  i like to think about what i’m going o say, and then say it; or write it, in this case.  face-to-face conversation is nice because you get instant feedback from the person.  no waiting to see if they’ve checked their email yet or checked their voicemail.

“do you want to grab dinner tonight?”

“yes, let’s”

see?  simple.  quick and efficient.  so what is it about the phone that i can’t get over?  i’m not sure.  maybe it’s the idea that you’re talking to a palm-sized box that emits radioactive rays and may or may not be able to play mp3’s and check email that just seems impersonal to me.  which brings us to the question – what kind of phone talker are you?

the pro – you have to surgically remove the phone from their hand because they’re so attached to it.  in fact, you don’t even recognize them if they’re not carrying their phone.  “bill is that you?  whoa!  i didn’t recognize you without your iphone in your hand.”  they’re always excusing themselves to go talk to someone outside a restaurant, cafe, house, bathroom, etc.  to them talking on the phone is as natural as breathing.  sometimes you can’t really talk to them unless you’re on the phone.  it’s like that episode of saved by the bell where zack can’t talk to his dad because he’s always on the phone so the only way he gets through to him is to call him on the phone while he’s in the same room.  the pro most likely has a fancy phone like a blackberry or some kind of smart phone.

the awkward turtle/nervous n00b – this one is me.  the phone rings and it startles you because you don’t remember the last time someone called you.  sometimes you even look around in anger because some jerk won’t answer their phone not knowing that that jerk is you.  you don’t even remember what your current ringtone is.  and when you talk on the phone, you answer with a hesitant, “…hello…?”  your conversation is filled with awkward pauses and silences and if you’re like me, you can’t end your conversation so you just stay on the line until the other person says they have to go.  you carry your phone around with you but 99% of the time, it’s just eye candy.  it serves no function.  at&t is not the best carrier for you because you don’t need rollover minutes.

the too cool for school – does this person even have a phone?  you’ve never seen them with one, but you know they must have one.  they’re not really attached to their phone.  they could have the coolest phone in the world, but they don’t always have to have it on hand.  and yet, whenever you call, they always pick up.  they’re very chill and laid back when they talk.  it’s like, “oh, you’re talking to me on the phone?  i didn’t even realize.”  and then they give one of those fake i’m-too-good-for-you laughs like rich people give.  and that’s when you say, “man, he’s such a jerk!  but he’s so cool!  i want to be his friend!”  your goal is to make it on his fav 5 list.

the “loser” – this person isn’t a loser, but is called the “loser” because they never have their phone because they’ve lost it somewhere.  they’re on their 8th replacement on the phone they just got 2 months ago.  dropped it in the car?  lost it in a parking lot?  movie theater?  restaurant?  fell in with the laundry?  you can never call this person because chances are, they have no idea where their phone is.  the funny thing is, after some time, they start finding all these phones that they lost in the past and at one point they have 5 phones at once but that lasts a week because they’ve already lost them all again.  phone insurance and a good warranty is a must for the “loser”.


Written by enoch

August 30, 2008 at 10:50 am

Posted in social observation

7 Responses

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  1. “I’ve run out of things to talk about now. Welp, see ya L8r” 😛


    August 30, 2008 at 11:08 am

  2. i like face to face conversation because you cant see the other person’s expression on phone and plus i don’t have phone articulation and don’t call people and lose phone for the 100th time.


    August 30, 2008 at 8:24 pm

  3. u too fancy.


    August 31, 2008 at 1:43 am

  4. “The Pro” is not pro when they get in a car accident because they were on their phone!


    August 31, 2008 at 9:12 pm

  5. you forgot my type…
    “the excuser” – never picks up the phone because the phone barely rings, but when it rings, the person screens the calls and gives an excuse of “oh… i didn’t hear the phone” or “i had bad reception” or “my phone didn’t ring!!”, etc.

    (but in reality, i didn’t screen my calls. it’s just that my phone stopped working. i promise.)



    September 1, 2008 at 1:47 am

  6. me too! me too! i’m the awkward turtle. i’m not crazy about talking on the phone but when i get my momentum(?) i can talk. i usually text to avoid talking anyway. what am i gonna do?!? i have at&t!


    September 2, 2008 at 12:29 pm

  7. i’m the excuser type too. and the texter…. should be grouped into a type called the Avoider: does anything to avoid talking on the phone. 🙂 I only have a phone so i can text. If I could only pay for texts, I would do that. I use like 22 minutes a month.


    September 3, 2008 at 1:08 pm

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