chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

under pressure

with 3 comments

do you ever feel like people are just expecting way too much out of you?  or even worse, do you ever feel like you’re putting too much pressure on yourself?

i feel like lately, pressure has been building up on me.  like for some reason i’m expected to just do certain things and when i don’t, or if i don’t do them well, i’m being a diappointment.  it’s not really anything i can put my finger on, it’s just… pressure.  expectations are high – for myself and from myself.  sometimes i feel like i’m going to explode.

and then there’s the voice in your head that says, “just quit now, you can’t go anymore.  you can’t do it.”  and however you interpret that to be heard in your head whether it be a challenge or a criticism of your performance, it seems to be true.  and either way, you’ve screwed yourself over.  if you take it to be a challenge, you run the risk of spreading yourself too thin and suffering from burnout.  and if you take it to be a critique of yourself, you get down on yourself and it makes you not want to try anymore.  so where’s the medium?

honestly, i don’t know.  i suffer from both tones of voice.  and like my description, i usually get burnt out or want to quit trying.

pressure is an interesting concept.  what causes it?

lack of boundaries – i can’t say no.  it’s a huge flaw of mine.  i just want to help everyone all the time oblivious to the fact that i haven’t taken my own needs into consideration.  and yes, i know there’s a book by cloud and townsend about this, and i have it (borrowed from a friend a looooong time ago, sorry buddy) but i still haven’t read it.  i was in a meeting on sunday where i kept volunteering to do things and facetiously would say “no!” after i volunteered to do them as we were talking about setting and keeping boundaries.

lack of communication – a lot of times, people have no idea they’re putting pressure on someone else.  how could they?  they don’t know all you’re doing through, how’re they supposed to know that pressure’s building for you?  i think it helps to let the other person know where you’re coming from and hopefully, this leads you to the third point:

lack of understanding – some people do communicate what all they’re going through and the other person still puts pressure on them.  this is where understanding comes in.  it’s not enough to just listen to all the pressure and expectations someone is being put under, but there needs to be an understanding along with it that lets the other person know that you are trying to see what they’re going through and that you empathize with them.  i think that definitely helps to relieve some pressure.  and i think for introverts like myself, the communication aspect can be hard so i don’t even get to make it to the understanding stage.  i just kinda keep it all bottled up inside until the pressure gets to be too much.  man, that’s unhealthy.

wouldn’t the world be a great place is people tried to understand each other better?

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Written by enoch

September 30, 2008 at 7:39 pm

Posted in from my mind

3 Responses

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  1. for me pressure comes from…trying to please everybody.

    yes the whole world would be a better place if people seeked to understand one another.

    dtongkas

    September 30, 2008 at 11:36 pm

  2. haha, sorry i used the word “actually” three times in the last comment.

    i like to think that i work well under pressure, even if the other person doesn’t know what i’m going through. it gives me a sense of accomplishment knowing that despite all of this, i can overcome. but of course, that’s not always the case.

    i’ve often felt frustrated or angry when people take advantage of me. like you, it’s hard for me to say no and so people just take that for granted and keep pushing me. it’s not that i want them to feel grateful or appreciate me… i’ve just felt used a lot.

    i don’t know. do i just communicate my feelings, or just move onto a place where i know i won’t be taken advantage of?

    do you think, if people were willing to understand and empathize other people (especially the ones that we don’t know much about), we wouldn’t have so much hate?

    gloria

    October 1, 2008 at 11:31 am

  3. i keep it bottled inside of everythin that all my friends have overcrossed me from last yr and sadly i had like 10 majorblowups this yr.im not the person 2 talk if they did me wrong.i just let it build build build till i i cant take it anymore and blow at anyone associated with my enemy.it gets beyond my control.but now if one does hurt me i dont waste my breath coz why shall i waste on someone ugly and puts me down coz im diff. i can deal w/ strangers negativity but with churcch friends i show no mercy anymore.

    Anonymous

    October 1, 2008 at 7:56 pm


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