chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

sibling systems cont. (part III i think)

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a la david park’s blog on why churches split based on ronald richardson’s book: creating a healthier church, i thought i’d continue my sibling systems theory as it was addressed in the book only there they refer to it as “birth order”.  basically what it is is grouping certain birth order siblings (i.e. older brother, younger sister, only children, middle children, etc) and analyzing their personalities based on their order.  from my observations in my previous post, i think i was pretty close to what the book had to say about these birth orders:

oldest children – “natural born leaders”, they are usually more responsible.  most american presidents are oldest children.  but oldests can “easily become workaholics and perfectionist worriers.”  but others don’t always like to be around the oldest child, they get stuff done, but aren’t the life of the party.

oldest sister of sisters – competent and strong, has a mind of her own.  takes care of those under her.  isn’t usually interested in appealing to men or flattering them unless they are a father-type figure.

oldest sister of brothers – more concerned about men, she’s more comfortable with them and tries to make them look good.  “the more brothers she has, the more comfortable she is around a number of men…  she’s not easily discouraged and is one of the hardest workers”

oldest brother of brothers – “the boss”, he wants to win.  takes risks and is pragmatic.  gets straight to the point, only the facts.  he can be tough and is usually not very close with people.  if he is close with someone it would be a guy, he tends to treat women as younger brothers.  seen as a good leader and likes to take responsibility.

oldest brother of sisters – more laid-back than the oldest brother of brothers.  “considerate, kind, tender and less selfish.”  i thought it was funny that it said “many male gynecologists are from this sibling position”.  gets along well with women.  warm and paternal.

youngest children – usually “cute” and “spoiled”.  lower level of discipline, and more indecisive about their direction in life.  “they may have alternating periods of being very dependent on others and then being quite rebellious against others, saying they don’t need any help.  the level of rebelliousness will depend partly on how much they were bossed around and teased by other siblings.”  (man, my sister must have teased me a lot!)  they tend to be more clever and observant of others in getting their wants.  it’s more important for them to be liked when in leadership than for others to obey them.

youngest sister of sisters – spontaneous, happy, risk-taker.  “can be flirtatious, attractive and play up her feminine side”.  competitive with other women.  easy-going and well-liked, but has difficulty making and sticking to decisions.

youngest sister of brothers – attractive and fun-loving.  fits in easily with guys.  not too focused on long-term goals because so many good opportunities arise for her.  she appears independent and has many skills.

youngest brother of brothers – adventurous rebel.  a here-and-now guy rather than a planner.  headstrong, unpredictable and erratic.  undisciplined.  needs an authority in his life to rebel against.  doesn’t understand women (hahaha!!).  needs someone older to advise him in leadership.  he’s a “fresh visionary, bold, daring and playful”.

youngest brother of sisters – has high self-esteem.  life doesn’t take too much effort on his part, not interested in challenges if it does take effort.  can accomplish much in the areas of his talents.  “regularly seduced by good fun and interesting relationships.”  (whatever that means)  often finds himself in the company of women, women love him because he is responsive and values their interest (hahaha, i had no idea women loved me).  not very opinionated and not very disciplined.

middle children – usually act as more of a younger or older sibling based on who they are more closer with.  middles struggle more in life.  life seems unfair and set out to battle on behalf of justice.  in same sex families, finding identity for the middle is a challenge.  if the only sex of their siblings, they have a sense of distinctiveness.

only children – can either have personality of the youngest or the oldest based on their parents’ relationship and their parents’ birth order.  the sibling style of the same-sex parents usually rubs off on the only child.  have high self-esteem, work well with authorities, expect a lot out of life and themselves.  can grow up too quick and become too serious.  relationships are hard because they didn’t have a sibling growing up to experiene the “give and take of life”.  maintain the greatest emotional stability in a group.

male only child – more likely to be a loner.  will not compete for attention.  his life is most charmed of any other position.

female only child – “feels very special within herself and is hurt if others fail to recognize her princesslike qualities” (hahaha!). lacks the drive of oldest sisters, but is very competent.  more social and better understands the complexities of relationships and enters into them with greater sensitivity.

twins (just for you hg) – male identicals work harder at differentiating themselves.  paternal twins of different sexes have the easiest time differentiating themselves (there ya go!).  they’ll often assume the roles of ‘oldest’ and ‘youngest’ even if they’re born minutes apart.  do not excel academically because of less push to achieve and think ambition is highly overrated.  if the parents de-emphasized the experience of twinship, the more they’ll act like other sibling systems.

wow, that was a lot.  how true are these for you?  mine’s pretty accurate for the most part.


Written by enoch

October 10, 2008 at 10:48 am

Posted in social observation

10 Responses

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  1. I feel like I’m reading a horoscope…


    October 10, 2008 at 11:57 am

  2. hmmm… i think i’ve assumed the role of the ‘youngest’ even though i was born 3 minutes before my sister. although this has changed now that we’ve grown up. hahaha. i did pretty well in school, but i do think ambition is overrated. very cool 🙂


    October 10, 2008 at 3:07 pm

  3. hope you had a good birthday.

    this theory totally applies to me and my sister.


    October 10, 2008 at 5:33 pm

  4. oldest bro totally has leadership skills

    middle bro totally a rebel and sociable

    i am totally totally good eater:)


    October 10, 2008 at 6:44 pm

  5. i’m gonna say…..not very accurate. 😛 but i think my fam is an anomaly.


    October 11, 2008 at 2:02 am

  6. Perhaps I should be a gynocologist
    laughs through nose


    October 11, 2008 at 2:19 am

  7. I mean gynecologist. (had to correct the spelling because I’m a perfectionist)


    October 11, 2008 at 2:21 am

  8. hahaha

    i say it’s kind of accurate…i still think i’m pretty selfish.


    October 11, 2008 at 2:10 pm

  9. Lol this is pretty accurate. the youngest child one does sound a lot like me… the youngest brother of sisters im not so sure about… 😛


    October 13, 2008 at 1:46 pm

  10. interesting…..


    October 19, 2008 at 12:18 am

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