chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

my infomercial

with 2 comments

infomercial1i think i should just rename my site “fish and chips” because i still consistently get so many hits from search engines with people looking for that english food favorite.

i’ve told some friends that i’ve always wanted to make an infomercial.  it doesn’t even matter what product it is.  i just want to make some kind of infomercial or parody of one.  this guy on the right, if you don’t know, he’s the guy that sells oxyclean and kaboom or the car scratch cleaner and other things.  he pretty much scares the pants off of me with his loud, in your face voice and his pointing finger.  but besides him or maybe even including him, i think infomercials are sometimes the most entertaining part of watching tv.  i think it’s so funny when they overexaggerate how inconvenient it is to do ordinarily simple tasks.  so here’s my idea:

are you sick and tired of drinks spilling on your face and shirt?

[cut to scene of a woman drinking from a cup and instead of drinking it like a normal person, she just dumps it on her lap.  oh yeah, and it must be in black and white and she has to have this face like, agh!!!  this is so frustrating!!]

well you don’t have to worry about that anymore with the adult sippy cup!!  it’s easy!  you just hold the cup up to the mouth and sip away!  no fuss, no mess, just pure, spill-free refreshment!

[while that’s being said, the same woman, in color now, brings the sippy cup up to her mouth and drinks and is surprised when there is no spill]

you’ll save hundreds on dry cleaning, it comes in 4 different designer colors and look!  it’s sturdy enough to survive a fall from a 5 story building (cause we all drop our cups from 5 story buildings right?)

don’t be fooled by imitators, our cups have been designed by nasa

[cut to scene of “wanna-be” adult sippy cups that break or leak or explode]

you can get 2 sippy cups in 2 different colors for 19.99!  but wait, if you call now, we’ll triple your order (cause you might’ve bought it without the special addition, but these things cost 50 cents to make anyways, so we’ll just throw some more in) plus we’ll throw in a 30 piece wrench set and the thing that makes scratches disappear from your car, plus a football shaped phone and a year’s subscription to reader’s digest.  all for just 19.99.  that’s a $100 value for only 19.99!  call now!

yeah, that’s my idea.  i mean, who doesn’t need an adult sippy cup?  i think this would do well.  i’d make sure it played on channels like spike (the man’s channel), or nickelodeon, or the disney channel.  you know, stations that totally don’t fit the demographic of who i’m trying to sell to.  just like they do in real life…

what kind of product would you make an infomercial out of?


Written by enoch

January 6, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Posted in from my mind

2 Responses

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  1. i’d buy it.


    January 6, 2009 at 1:51 pm

  2. me 2!,coz i have to use 2 hands w/ glass ups!


    January 6, 2009 at 4:25 pm

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