chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

my infomercial part 2

with 6 comments

shamwowhave you seen this guy?  he’s like billy mays’ arch-enemy, except creepier.  i don’t get where they find these guys.  can’t they find someone a little less… intense?  what’s weird about this guy is he says words that don’t even have to do with the product and he wears this fast food drive in headset that makes you think that he’s talking to the camera in between his jobs at drive thru windows.

i saw billy mays on the tonight show one night and i had to watch it cause i wanted to see what he was like in real life.  actually, he’s just as intense in real life as he is on the infomercial.  he was actually pushing a new product on the show.  it was funny because dana carvey was on the show as well and he was totally making fun of him.  hilarious!

so what would my next informercial look like?  hmmm…

are you sick and tired of people not taking you seriously?

[cut to some nerd being laughed and pointed at by a crowd of people]

sick of people walking all over you?

[nerd gets up with footprints all over his back]

introducing intense eyebrows!!

these one-time use adhesive eyebrows are easy to use.  just stick them over your existing eyebrows and bend them in an intense pose.

need to look angry?             serious?              suspicious?             crazy? angry-eyebrows

eyebrowdwayne_johnson1

suspicious-eyebrows

nimal_muppet

don’t have eyebrows?  bam!  instant eyebrows!  and when you’re done, you can wrap them around your pencil as a pencil grip.  they come in a variety of colors: black, dark white, and dark black.

normally one pair of these go for 49.99, but you can get them for 3 payments of 24.99.  that’s right!  you’re paying us more for the same product you would get somewhere else.  but with the first payment, you’ll think you’re paying less.

but if you call now in the next 20 minutes, cause you know we can’t do this all day (as the creepy guy with the drive in headset would say), we’ll add one replacement eyebrow in blond.  not one pair, but one eyebrow.  mix-and-match!  amaze your friends.  make sure they don’t take no crap from you.

[cut to scene with nerd with make-over so he looks like a cool guy with crazy eyebrows with thumbs up]

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Written by enoch

April 2, 2009 at 10:12 am

Posted in from my mind

6 Responses

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  1. hehehehehehe. what a good soft laugh to have at the end of my workday 🙂 (the laugh is only soft because i’m exhausted..) the pencil grip part was gross though.

    heej

    April 2, 2009 at 3:09 pm

  2. awesume!! i want 1!! who do i call???

    Anonymous

    April 2, 2009 at 6:55 pm

  3. i just saw this commercial the other day and thought you might like it too.

    alice

    April 2, 2009 at 8:01 pm

  4. dude, i so posted that in an earlier post. it is one of my favorite commercials though so i’ll let it slide =P

    enoch

    April 2, 2009 at 9:05 pm

  5. I like crazy.

    JK

    April 2, 2009 at 10:51 pm

  6. Hahaha that’s good stuff. The other guy, Vince Offer is hilarious. I like his infomercial style, its very entertaining. “Sham Wow! Its made by the Germans so you know its good.”

    Vince Offer

    May 19, 2009 at 12:35 pm


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