chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

risk (aka ukraine is weak)

with 2 comments

riski’m not a big fan of risk.  no, the board game is ok, i’m talkin’ about taking chances.  i’m not a risk-taker.  i get intimidated by new things.  i didn’t ride rollercoasters growing up cause i was scared, and it didn’t help that my mom said i might die if i rode one.  so she kinda let me stay in that fear, afraid to venture out and explore the world.  i always stuck to what was familiar.  even in restaurants, i’ll usually stay with stuff i know, or am familiar with at least.  if i don’t know an ingredient, well then, i probably won’t order it.  don’t get me wrong.  i’ll try new stuff every once in a while (food wise) cause i know it’s not going to hurt me.

life risks on the other hand, scare the beJesus out of me.  is that right?  capitalizing Jesus in the middle of that word?  i figure Jesus needs His props regardless of whether He starts a word or not.  capitalized it is.  i get very anxious and panicky when i’m about to try something new.  you should’ve seen me on my first rollercoaster.  i was with some friends from school and i’m pretty sure they thought i was a loser for overreacting to riding a rollercoaster.  they tried to calm me down while i was hyperventilating until i finally just sat down and went for it.  and you know what?  it was fun.  i really enjoyed it.  but i still haven’t learned my lesson.  i still panic and i still get intimated by a lot of things.  but i have learned that the trick to getting over it, is to just do it.

i overthink way to much.  “what if this?” and “what if that?”  i’ve realized that if i just stop thinking for a couple minutes, that’s enough time for my body to take over and physically prepare for what i’m going to do.  and by the time my brain’s turned on again and i’m thinking about it, it’s too late, i’m already knee-deep in risk.  that’s kinda my recipe for tricking my brain into taking risks:

step one: turn off brain

step two: take steps towards taking the risk

step three: take the risk

step four: turn brain back on and realize you were just being a wuss

i don’t know why i get so paranoid and anxious to take risks.  i know it’s been like that for as long as i can remember.  hmmm…  i think i’m ready to take more risks in life.  we’ll take it a day at a time.

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Written by enoch

June 17, 2009 at 11:55 am

Posted in from my mind

2 Responses

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  1. 🙂

    heej

    June 17, 2009 at 12:14 pm

  2. yeah i’m pretty much the same way. even with the ladies….

    HG

    June 18, 2009 at 2:42 am


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