chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

another birthday

with 2 comments

BDayCakeso, i must admit.  i have a thing against birthdays.  i wrote this in 2006: what it is.  wow, so long ago.  for the most part, i feel the same as i did back then.  birthdays = not so special.

i think i’ve given up on hoping that my birthday will be any different from the other 364 days of the year (365 in a leap year).  i’ve grown accustomed to not expecting much – no special treatment, no break, nothing extraordinary.  and maybe that’s my fault for expecting these.  and no, i’m not saying this so that i will receive any of these things in the future.  my point is: birthdays are just another day.  what difference is it that you happened to be born on a specific day?

a lot of people asked me how my birthday was.  was it filled with anything special or did i do anything for my birthday?  i couldn’t really help but laugh to myself as i thought: why would there be anything special going on?  isn’t today the same for you as it is for me?  it’s just another day.  the world continues to spin, my responsibilities don’t change just because the calendar says october 9th.  why would it be any different from october 8th or 10th?  and as i think of these questions, i manage a meek smile and say, “it’s ok.  now, i have to help lead a retreat and i have to get going.  i’ll talk to you later.”

i blame shows like “my super sweet sixteen” where girls have the day of their dreams.  are the rest of us supposed to now think that we can have a day to ourselves like these spoiled girls?  no.  the rest of us go on with our normal days with the usual flood of facebook notifications.

my question to all of you is: are birthdays special?  if so, how?  cause i just haven’t been seeing it.  to me, birthdays are just another day.  i’ve done more work on my birthday this year than most days in my life.  i’ve been more stressed on my birthday than most days in my life.  does it really matter that it was my birthday?  or is the american idea of a birthday something that people made up, like valentine’s day?  and i know that it sounds like i’m complaining, but i’m really not.  i really could care less if i made a big deal about my birthday or if other people did.  i honestly don’t care.  to me, it’s just another day.  the day that follows october 8th and the one that precedes october 10th.

wow, what a sad entry huh?  but it’s really not.  it’s actually just a realization i’ve had.  so here’s to another october 9th come and gone.

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Written by enoch

October 12, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Posted in from my mind

2 Responses

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  1. Having had both small birthday days (sitting alone) and large gatherings (15-25 people), I’ve realized that that one day is a reflection of one’s impact and influence of/on other people. Of course an important factor is how caring and thoughtful your friends are (and how good they are about getting people together), most importantly, it’s about how well people remember you within the days/weeks/months/year leading up to the one day you can “focus on yourself.”

    It’s also just a celebration of life. How happy are you that you’ve lived X years? How grateful are you to have lived another year? How happy are other people with your existence? How deep are your relationships with others?

    HJ

    October 12, 2009 at 4:20 pm

  2. ^__^

    Anonymous

    October 14, 2009 at 5:12 pm


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