chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

give me some time

with 2 comments

i hate schedules.  the feeling that my calendar is filling up overwhelms me.

lately (and by lately i mean the last couple years) i’ve been feeling like i’ve been living on other peoples’ time.  as i look at my calendar i see events and days that people have created for me or evites that request for me to “save the date”.  and as i feel more and more overwhelmed, i can’t help but wonder, “when is it that i get to do what I want to do?”  will i always be on someone else’s time?  do i constantly have to sacrifice my own free time, sleep time, and yes, even my study time in order to fit into other peoples’ schedules?

i wonder if other people have their own time, their own schedules in which they decided what they were going to do instead of other people dictating that for them.  or am i the only one affected by this epidemic?

february has been a pretty busy month for me.  weekends are packed with events on top of ministry responsibilities and meetings, weekdays are school, other meetings, work study, attending events other people have asked me to attend, and when i can get to it – study.  it’s been difficult, to be honest.  and i’m even taking one class less than i should be this semester in order to compensate for this packed schedule.

it’s not that i want to schedule something for me to do next wednesday or anything like that.  i think it’s just that i prefer an open schedule and feel really suffocated when my calendar fills up with dates and events that people “suggest” or ask me to attend.  plus, i’m forgetful anyways and have a tendency of double-booking dates because i just forget that i have a birthday dinner to attend that day or play guitar for something or other.

the issue is not what enoch wants to write into his schedule.  in fact, that would overwhelm me even more.  the issue is, can i leave some time for me to do whatever i want to do in that moment instead of me compromising that time because other people have a “free hour” to pencil me in?

i hate schedules.


Written by enoch

February 11, 2010 at 11:52 am

Posted in from my mind

2 Responses

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  1. boundaries… draw them. see you at the board meeting! haha


    February 11, 2010 at 4:12 pm

  2. Hey Enoch,

    Can you pencil me in next week? 😉


    February 12, 2010 at 4:39 am

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