chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

form vs. dysfunction

with 2 comments

one of my friends once made a comment about how he was struggling with the concept of the church being “the family of God.”  his struggle was that oftentimes, the church doesn’t act like a family but instead like a group of strangers who are forced to listen to a timeshare presentation together (ok, i came up with that analogy.  but i think he would agree).  i’ve been thinking about his comment ever since.

i have a very idealized view of family.  i blame it on sitcoms like full house or family matters and the like where families work through struggles together and actually seem to enjoy spending time together.  this is how i envision the church to be like when i think about it being a “family”.  but could it be that the Christian “family” is as dysfunctional as my own biological family?

just about every week, i realize more and more how imperfect the church is.  how unlike a family it can be.  i guess i’m a little jaded when i see this because i feel like if the church can’t function as a family, what hope is there for an actual biological family?  and this isn’t a bash on my church, i think it runs across the board.  factions and splits, cliques and people being ignored or left out, people not feeling like they belong, etc.  is that how a family functions?  or, let me rephrase: is that how a family should function?

shouldn’t a family be a safe place?  shouldn’t a family be a place of comfort and complete vulnerability?  shouldn’t you be able to be yourself in a family?  or is the church family just as dysfunctional as a biological family where everyone has their guards up and no one wants to work on their relationships with each other?

what do you think?  am i way off?


Written by enoch

July 16, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Posted in from my mind

2 Responses

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  1. The church is the bride of Christ, the full counsel — a place to call home =)

    My family is somewhat dysfunctional as well (plus I like your dysfunctional family! ltn) but I do agree with you that it can be testing at times just to get along with others in the same building.

    I’m realizing more and more these days that a healthy family life is crucial. There is a major difference between kids who spend time talking with their parents and kids that don’t.



    July 16, 2010 at 5:38 pm

  2. I wonder if there’s a correlation between a church environment and healthy family relationships or more specifically, 2nd Generation Korea-Americans and their upbringing. Probably not accurate, but still sounds very possible–who knows. From what I’ve experienced so far it sounds like it would be hard to share the love of God when it seems there wasn’t enough of it in the household growing up. Almost all of us are raised under critical eyes, and that ultimately becomes ingrained in us. I admit I can be pretty judgmental at times, but I feel like it just happens naturally. It’s stupid scary and I catch myself doing it a lot. It’s like where did this part of me come from? Is it due to cultural reasons? Sin? Family? Pride? etc. I always end up brushing it aside, but IT SUCKS. It looks almost like some sort of cycle. The task seems daunting if you look at sheer numbers. But God has the power to transform and He invites us to just tap into that and once people see the kind of life God wants us to live it will be life changing.


    July 17, 2010 at 8:22 pm

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