chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

pleasantries

with 5 comments

do you ever exchange short pleasantries that you don’t really mean a word of?

besides the obvious,

“how are you doing?”

“good, and you?

“good”

no one means that right?  for all i know you could’ve just shot an elephant and spent some time in jail for poaching and you would still answer, “good”.  i actually take this question literally.  if i’m having a bad day, i’ll tell you about it.  i’ll say, “i’m not doing that great” or usually i’ll sit there and think about it for a little while (which is really difficult if this is one of those walk-by questions) and i’ll answer, “you know, i just lost my keys and i’m feeling pretty bummed about it.”

or, i LOVE this exchange:

“did you get a haircut?”

“yeah”

“it looks nice”

what the heck?!?!  first of all, awesome observation captain obvious!  although sometimes people ask me that i haven’t gotten a haircut.  hmmm… i think either way it’s not a good question.  if i didn’t get a haircut, it shows you didn’t notice that i didn’t.  if i did, it shows that you can clearly see (as everyone else can) that truly i did get a haircut and you just chose to ask to verify that my radically different hairstyle was the result of scissors and razors and not nature itself.  secondly, do you actually mean it when you say that it looks nice?  cause honestly, i don’t think i look good with a fresh haircut.  if it looked bad, would you have told me?  probably not.  for me, i acknowledge haircuts to myself.  and if i do acknowledge it AND it looks nice in my opinion, i’ll say, “nice haircut.”  that’s it.  no questions, no lies.  just a simple, subtle, “nice haircut.”  end of conversation.  if i didn’t like it, i just wouldn’t say anything.  but most likely it’s a third category – i don’t notice it and can’t tell if it’s good or bad.  i’m just horrible at noticing stuff.  but at least i wouldn’t lie about it.  if i got a bad haircut, i would like to know about it so that i don’t keep getting it cut the same way the next time i go.  you’re just allowing bad hair to keep getting cut that way.  stop the cycle people!!  please!!

i guess what i’m saying is, let not the pleasantries of our culture override the truth that is in our hearts.  i’d rather hear a “girl! your hair is so ugly, looks like your head threw up.”* than, “ooh girl, your hair looks sooo good” when you don’t mean it.  that only guarantees you’re going to see the same hideous hairstyle over and over again.

*of course, i don’t condone insults like this.  it’s a little too blunt.  try to be a little cordial about it.  or offer suggestions: it’s a little too short in the front, it’d look good if you styled it this way, i don’t think you can pull that look off, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!?  ok i got a little carried away.  but you know what i mean.

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Written by enoch

September 30, 2010 at 11:37 am

Posted in social observation

5 Responses

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  1. i mean my haircut comments! if i show any hesitations, then that’s only because it takes about 5 glances for me to get used to the new hair length on the other person. it takes about a day for me to get used to my own haircut.

    with how are yous, i think i hesitate initially (that i mean, i’m actually thinking how i’m doing) and i’d tell the truth if i can process how i’m doing. if i get stuck and can’t think of any to share, then i say ‘good’.

    funny picture btw!

    heej

    September 30, 2010 at 11:57 am

  2. haha, oooo girl, your hair look gooooood. but many times when people ask me how i’m doing, i feel like they don’t really care to know, so i say good. or i don’t know them very well to share with them whawt i’m struggling with. sometimes im just not thinking about anything and don’t feel like thinkin about things. i guess it’s a terrible excuse – i’ll try being more honest! btw, you remember that time i told you your hair cut looked great? i was lying. you should just stop trying [hahaha, jk, i’ve never commented on your hair cut].

    josh

    September 30, 2010 at 12:27 pm

  3. aweaommmww!^___^

    Anonymous

    September 30, 2010 at 6:14 pm

  4. welp, see you later :mrgreen:

    X

    October 1, 2010 at 2:14 am

  5. X

    October 1, 2010 at 2:14 am


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