chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

i hate it when…

with 2 comments

…someone asks for your decision and then decides something for you anyways.

let me start off by saying there’s not many things i would say i hate: traffic, rain, being misunderstood, lack of consideration.  it’s a pretty short list, but this is up there.

for instance, my parents are a prime example.  we’ll be at a restaurant and they’ll ask, “what do you want to order?”  i’ll answer, and then they’ll say, “no, don’t get that, get this.”  really?  ok, then.  why’d you ask me if you were going to order for me anyways?  to me, this is like asking a prisoner, “would you like to be free?”  “yes” “well, too bad! cause i already decided that you’re gonna stay in jail.”

for the thanksgiving break, i’ve spent about 4 days at home with my family, so needless to say, this has happened countless times in those short few days.  here’s one of many such conversations:

sister: would you like to say bye to mom now or later?

me: i’ll go later when i’m about to leave

sister: why don’t you just go now?

me: ok, then.  let’s go now then.

so the question is, why did she ask me if she wasn’t going to give me a choice?

does anyone else out there feel me? when asked about it, her defense was, “i asked just to be nice.”  my response is, wouldn’t it be even nicer if you asked a question and actually meant it?  it’s actually kinda mean to ask for a decision that you’ve already made for that person.

i have my own personal thing about questions.  i’ll only ask a question when i need/want to know the answer.  i don’t ask filler questions.  i ask because i genuinely want to know.  when i ask how you’re doing, i really mean it.  none of this, i ask just to be nice kind of stuff.  i ask questions because i want to know the answer.  i think this is the original intent of question asking.  you ask because you want to gain information.  you don’t ask just to hear someone talk and then answer the question yourself (well, maybe professors do that, but technically they’re gaining information about how well they’re teaching or how knowledgeable the class is).

let’s ask better questions.


Written by enoch

November 27, 2010 at 12:52 pm

Posted in from my mind

2 Responses

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  1. I’m trying to remember whether you asked me how I was doing the last time I saw you…


    November 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

  2. Did you get the steak and crab cakes special? It looked delicious on television :mrgreen:

    I like your sister and parents — at least they were with you during the holidays (and at least you didn’t have to leave early after not having visited) :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


    November 27, 2010 at 5:08 pm

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