chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

the art of saying no

with 4 comments

i’m horrible at saying no.  i was thinking about it the other day, how do other people say no so easily?

for me, my principle is: if i can do it, then i will do it.  if i don’t have a reason not to do it, why not do it?  right?  however, this does get me in trouble sometimes as i tend to overcommit to things and do not leave room for self-care, much to the detriment of myself.

but i was thinking, i can’t lie.  when people ask me to do something and i don’t have an excuse not to do it, i say i’ll do it even if i don’t want to.  how do other people answer that question?  i could really use some answers on this.  i must say, i’m a pretty honest guy.  i try my best not to lie when i can help it.  my dad actually made fun of me for being too honest.  so what do you say when someone asks you for a favor and you don’t have a good reason to say no without being dishonest?  i mean, i can’t say, “sorry, i don’t want to.”  that’s just being a jerk.  but i can’t say, “sorry, i’d like to but i can’t.”  that’s just lying.

do i just need to answer with a firmer “NO!”  and when they ask why i tell them their shoes are untied to distract them while i run away?  i’d love to hear you all’s suggestions.


Written by enoch

December 10, 2010 at 6:56 pm

4 Responses

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  1. Maybe it doesn’t help in all situations, but Boundaries (by Cloud and Townsend) is a good book to read! Hit me up if you want to borrow my copy.


    December 10, 2010 at 7:11 pm

  2. i told enoch to buy this book years ago….


    December 12, 2010 at 2:16 am

  3. in my defense, i have it, i just haven’t read it. i actually stole a copy from a friend.


    December 12, 2010 at 1:05 pm

  4. check out this article for 10 guilt-free ways to say no. hope it helps!


    January 4, 2011 at 12:55 am

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