Archive for January 2011
i’m very interested in the topic of grace because it’s what my faith in Jesus is based upon. without an understanding of grace, it’s difficult to have an understanding of Jesus. now i’m not saying you have to be an expert on grace in order to be a follower of Jesus, but if you don’t have an basic understanding of grace, you don’t get the fullness of what faith in Jesus is all about.
for instance, if you don’t know that we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus, you’ll constantly be working for salvation not knowing that Jesus died for us through no merit of our own. if you take grace for granted, you’ll never understand the consequences of sin while you live your life of debauchery thinking you can do anything and everything you want because grace covers all. get it?
anyways, here’s my recent struggle with grace that has actually been going on my whole life:
i think my family relationship has somewhat hindered my understanding of grace. i’ve always done everything i can to get my parents’ approval. the thing is, i will never earn their approval. because they love me no matter what right? no. because they don’t give approval. i know they love me no matter what, but i’m seeking the affirmation of their love that i may never receive in a way that i will fully understand. i’m fighting a losing battle. i’m not blaming them for my misunderstanding of grace, it is i who have distorted the notion of grace. i’ve carried my relationship with my parents over to my relationship with God. will God give me approval? my parents haven’t. therefore, i must work harder to earn God’s approval. where’s the grace in that? nowhere. that’s where.
grace from God is such a foreign concept for me:
you mean, no matter how bad i screw up, God’s still going to love me?
wow, that does not make any sense.
yeah, it’s great isn’t it?
there’s nothing on earth like grace. when i screw up as a son to my parents, they let me know about it and i feel horrible. when i do good things as a son, i’m somehow reminded of all the times i’ve screwed up as a son and realize i’m never going to do enough good things to outweigh those times i’ve screwed up. grace however, means feeling that i don’t have to dig myself out of the pit of bad things i’ve done and trying to fill the pit with good things. grace means i’m out of the pit and it’s already been filled and i will never have to be underground again. wow, such a foreign concept.
i always unlock all the doors of my car with my remote even if i’m the only one riding in the car.
if i’m going up stairs 2 at a time, i’ll always start with a single step and then take the rest of them by two’s.
for as long as i can remember, whenever i’m praying by myself, i always pray “and let mom and dad be safe” even without me knowing.
i always open the bag inside my cereal/boxed cookies/chips on the left side. it throws me off when i or someone else opens it on the right side.
i usually buy shampoo in twos.
although i know it’s a waste of water, i like to have the sink running while i’m brushing my teeth. i don’t know why.
i always knock before entering a public restroom. i know why.
an hour late on a bill payment gives you a late fee.
a day late birthday wish makes you feel like a horrible friend.
a timely response is not everything, but it means a lot unless you’re willing to deal with the consequences. i think all these have happened to me in the past week. it doesn’t feel good to know that what would have remedied the situation was just a little more time and sadly, that’s one of the only things we can’t get back.
unfortunately, my downfall is my forgetfulness. my lateness is due to my lack of awareness 😦
a married couple who are close friends of mine have started an online company selling silk flowers. not only are they providing quality silk flowers for any occasion, they also provide employment for refugees. like them on facebook.
my friends are doing some amazing things 🙂
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.
About 3 million people visit the Taj Mahal every year. This blog was viewed about 42,000 times in 2010. If it were the Taj Mahal, it would take about 5 days for that many people to see it.
In 2010, there were 65 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 316 posts. There were 68 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 8mb. That’s about a picture per week.
The busiest day of the year was May 25th with 269 views. The most popular post that day was break me off a piece of that kit kat bar.
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, twitter.com, search.aol.com, enocalypse.xanga.com, and google.com.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for politics, bi rain, kit kat, ethnicity, and fish and chips.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.
break me off a piece of that kit kat bar February 2009
risk (aka ukraine is weak) June 2009
sick nasty September 2009
how you like them apples? August 2008
don’t be modest November 2008