chang|e one's mind

i wrote a song… in my mind

Archive for the ‘social observation’ Category

nothing to fear

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it’s ok, don’t be afraid.  this isn’t a scary blog topic.

something hit me the other day: fear hits everyone at different times.  i wondered if at any time, the same fear hits everyone.  for instance, i led worship for the first time at a new church in the past couple of months and i was pretty scared.  or call it nervousness if you will, but i find that nervousness is somewhat related to fear (fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of doing/saying something stupid).  i admitted to the band that i was a little nervous about it being my first time leading worship at the church and they weren’t shocked per se, but i think they might have found it odd.

is there ever a time where someone isn’t going to be nervous when they speak/sing in front of a big group of people?  and if so, are they liars?  i mean, i feel like whoever you are, if you’re about to speak or sing in front of a bunch of people for the first time, you’re probably going to feel some fear to some degree.  it made me think of those tough guys in middle/high school that say they’re not afraid and everyone wonders how they can be so brave.  are they really not afraid or are they lying?  are some people just inherently not afraid of things that the general population is afraid of?

public speaking, for instance.  i love public speaking.  but i still get nervous when i have to speak in front of a group.  i wouldn’t say i’m afraid of speaking, although technically the nervousness means that i am.  hmmm…

Written by enoch

January 16, 2012 at 9:56 am

the big city

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i went to savannah with my girlfriend on monday for her birthday and we visited a restaurant called mrs. wilkes.  it’s a very quaint place where you sit in tables of ten and they just feed you mass quantities of southern comfort food.  what i liked most was not the food, but the experience.  we got to sit with other out-of-towners such as ourselves and enjoy a meal together as we passed mashed potatoes and collard greens to each other.

as we were enjoying our meal, we chatted about where we were all from.  we had lunch with an older married couple form michigan, another married couple from alabama, and a family from rural georgia.  when they learned that we were from atlanta, the conversation went straight to how big the city was.  “i could never live in a big city like that” said one couple.  “what’s up with that lane on the left side of the interstate?” was one of the next questions a couple asked.  so we explained as best as we could what the high occupancy vehicle (hov) lane was for and after they were satisfied that we weren’t crazy, we talked about how bad traffic was.

if you’re from atlanta, it’s hard to comprehend that we live in a “big city”.  i think of places like new york, la, chicago, etc.  not atlanta.  i felt a kind of sophistication knowing that i lived in a “big city”.  i wasn’t being condescending or anything, it just felt different knowing that they thought of us as city folk.

do you consider yourself a “big city” person?

Written by enoch

May 26, 2011 at 9:01 am

Posted in social observation

nicknames

with 2 comments

ever since i’ve read danpark’s blog entry, aka, i’ve been thinking of this topic for a while.

so if you haven’t been watching the nba finals this year, you’re missing out cause it’s been really exciting.  who knew the first round would have this much excitement?

anyways, so as i was watching the games of the first round, i was wondering about the nicknames of the nba – who has one, who doesn’t, who should, etc.  some are really cool, some i don’t care for.  i thought this would be really fun, but see if you can name the player associated with the nickname:

superman (there’s 2 with that nickname)

the big ticket

durantula (not my favorite one)

k-mart (prob my favorite one)

psycho t

king james

cp3

red rocket

birdman

agent zero

big baby – because he was a big freshman at lsu, the name just stuck

black mamba

rip

big z

that’s all i can think of for now.  it seems like there should be a lot more.  for instance: blake griffin, d.wade, d.rose, amare, carmelo, tim duncan should all have nicknames i think.  plus, older nicknames were so much cooler than the ones they have today.  for instance:

the glove – because his defense is all over you

the dream

the jet

air

pistol

the admiral

the glide

dr. j

the doctor

penny

don’t they just sound so much better?  we own our nicknames.  here are some i’ve had:

enotch

enocalypse – courtesy of toe-knee lee

e

mamasedenochuout

kickitupenotch

1

enogee

chocochango – courtesy of eunj

liu chang – courtesy of spikeymikey back in elementary school (when mortal kombat reigned the schoolyard)

change

enochang

my name got so hard to share at restaurants where they call your name, i started making names up like tyrone, steve, etc.

how do nicknames come about?  here’s what i came up with:

middle name: a lot of people who fall into this category are women.  i never really understood this one.  you were given a first name, why go by your “second-choice” name?  you know those girls back in high school when they took the first roll of the school year.  the teacher would be like, mary cooper?  and she’d be like, “i go by elizabeth” and then the same thing would happen for about half the girls in class.

inside joke: this can sometimes be a name you really don’t want.  like you get lost using directions and people start calling you “gps” or you fart in front of a bunch of people and everyone starts call you “gas man”.  or they can be really cool, which leads me to my next category:

accomplishments: you get straight A’s and people call you “ace”, or you save someone from choking and people call you “life-saver”.  or, i dunno, you’re a really great musician and people start calling you “the boss”.

your name: this is where most nicknames fall.  a clever reworking of your name turns you into a cool nicknamed person.  unfortunately, most nicknames in the nba fall into this category nowadays.  there’s d.rose, d.wade, melo, and stupid ones like “durantula”.  now these didn’t take much thought, but there are some cool nicknames based on a person’s name.

or you can mix and match.  for instance “chocochango” is a mix of my name and an inside joke.

you got/heard of any cool nicknames?

i leave you with this clip of the “nard-dog” from the office:

Written by enoch

April 22, 2011 at 10:16 am

Posted in social observation

lookin’ for love

with 2 comments

here’s a multiple choice question for you all:

what do you do when people show love in wrong (or even hurtful) ways?

a) let it go, their intentions are good

b) confront them and risk hurting their feelings/your relationship

c) try to show them you love them more

d) none of the above/other…

 

for those of you that chose:

a) are you ok with continually being hurt by the same person knowing that they mean well?

b) are you ok with having the person not listen to your confrontation and to continue doing what they’re doing because that’s how they are?

c) are you ok with him or her not accepting your love because that’s not the way they receive love?

d) what are the other options?

Written by enoch

January 27, 2011 at 10:21 am

Posted in social observation

home is where…

with one comment

…the news channels are familiar.

that’s what i always say.  ok, i’ve never actually said that before, but i think it’s true.

sorry, this only applies to those who currently live away from your hometown.  when you go home and turn on the news, does it look really weird to you?  or maybe you think it’s comforting and familiar.

my theory is, wherever “home” is for you, that’s where the news anchors are the most familiar and comforting.  when i go home to charlotte, the newscasters are not familiar to me.  i feel like i’m on vacation somewhere and turn on the tv and the formatting of the headlines and the news reporters are all different and foreign to me.  you know the feeling?  when i come back to atlanta, however, that’s when i know i’m home.  this is not a knock on charlotte or my parents house or anything, i guess i just consider atlanta to be my home now.  i mean, i have lived here for almost 10 years now.

where is your home?  and how are the news channels like in your hometown?  familiar and comforting?  or strange and scary?  maybe not scary.  actually the meteorologist of one of the stations in charlotte has a wicked case of evil eyebrows.  in that case, he’s pretty scary.

Written by enoch

December 20, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Posted in social observation

is lying fun?

with 2 comments

my last post being on honesty, i thought i might give a counterpoint to the last post.

is lying more fun than telling the truth?

looking back on my life, i can tell you that i’ve played it safe.  i’ve mostly told the truth, haven’t done too many illegal things (definitely not as much as many of my friends have), stayed away from a lot of negative influences, etc.  but when i look back on my life, the really memorable experiences have usually been the ones that involved some kind of dishonesty: sneaking into certain events, pretending to be someone else in order to receive some kind of perk, getting discounts on some expensive event dishonestly, etc.

some of the best stories come out of being dishonest.

now before you think i’m condoning dishonesty, i’m all for integrity.  let me assure you.  i’m just making an observation.  i don’t even know what i’m saying anymore.  go ahead, lie if you want to.  i’m not your parent.

i think lying is a part of life.  as a fellow classmate said in my ethics class, “everyone is a liar.”  i guess what it comes down to is how big and what the consequences are of your lying and if you’re willing to own up to the consequences of those lies.

i think people need to experience some dishonesty in their lives, or else you’ll be too trusting of others.  however, it should be a healthy amount of dishonesty (if that makes any sense at all).

lying is fun.  don’t do it.

Written by enoch

December 13, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Posted in social observation

the art of saying no

with 4 comments

i’m horrible at saying no.  i was thinking about it the other day, how do other people say no so easily?

for me, my principle is: if i can do it, then i will do it.  if i don’t have a reason not to do it, why not do it?  right?  however, this does get me in trouble sometimes as i tend to overcommit to things and do not leave room for self-care, much to the detriment of myself.

but i was thinking, i can’t lie.  when people ask me to do something and i don’t have an excuse not to do it, i say i’ll do it even if i don’t want to.  how do other people answer that question?  i could really use some answers on this.  i must say, i’m a pretty honest guy.  i try my best not to lie when i can help it.  my dad actually made fun of me for being too honest.  so what do you say when someone asks you for a favor and you don’t have a good reason to say no without being dishonest?  i mean, i can’t say, “sorry, i don’t want to.”  that’s just being a jerk.  but i can’t say, “sorry, i’d like to but i can’t.”  that’s just lying.

do i just need to answer with a firmer “NO!”  and when they ask why i tell them their shoes are untied to distract them while i run away?  i’d love to hear you all’s suggestions.

Written by enoch

December 10, 2010 at 6:56 pm