Archive for March 2009
i woke up to a phone call from me maw this morning. i think that kinda threw everything out of whack for the rest of the morning. i couldn’t go back to sleep so i got up and went to the bathroom. it occurred to me that i need to deposit a check so what else did i do but bring my check to the bathroom with me as if i could deposit it there. convenient right? i had to remind myself that checks don’t belong in the bathroom. and then i went to grab some cereal. i fill my bowl and open to fridge to grab what’s supposed to be milk for my cereal. but instead, it was the brita pitcher. hoy. is this what my day is going to be like?
i wonder what it is about these days that just disorient you to do some of the most irrational things you’ve ever seen. does one event trigger it? or is it that you’re so tired that you have no control over your body’s decisions and therefore your body has full reign over making you look like a fool? i think that’d be pretty funny. like your body is just waiting for the opportunity to play pranks on you and when you fall for it, you’re like, “ahhh!! you got me!! i got punk’d.”
do you guys ever have days like this? i’m sure you do. what’s the funniest thing that you’ve done or almost done?
why, blueberry morning? that’s all i have to ask. why? why did you change your recipe? why did you disappear off the shelves of most grocery stores? i had to travel to target to find you! and after i bought you at sale price, i come home and eat you, and, and, and find that you’ve changed!! sure your blueberries are 60% bigger, but your flakes! what happened to your flakes?!? they are bland and tasteless. not the oat clustery flakes i fell in love with. by the way, what happened to your oats? and your almonds?!? in my first bowl, i only had one almond. that deeply saddens me, blueberry morning.
sadly to say, i actually prefer the generic, supermarket knock-off of “blueberry cluster flakes” or whatever it’s called. and that’s saying a lot because i almost never like the supermarket brand stuff. why did you disappear from my life and return only to disappoint me? i almost wish you never showed your face again. you got my hopes up, you know that? and now, i’m forced to finish you off before the milk goes bad so i can buy, sniff, the supermarket brand. where is the blueberry morning i fell in love with? can i have you back? post cereals corporation! what have you done with my blueberry morning?!?!?! you prostituted her out to be some new, 60% bigger blueberries hussy!! how could you?!?!?!
you ever have those products that get a “new recipe” and you just wish they could’ve sticked to their old one? you know, the recipe that made you keep buying said product in the first place. why change it?
let me tell you why i’m afraid of mirrors:
you know those bathrooms that have the mirror that takes up the width of the wall? i’m afraid of those. i’m afraid because the guys’ bathroom is usually adjacent to the ladies bathroom. that means that their mirror is probably placed back to back to where our mirror is placed. i’m afraid that some woman construction worker (i haven’t seen one, but it could happen) placed a 2-way mirror on the ladies’ side so that they can see everything the guys are doing in their bathroom. i guess i’d be more afraid if i were a girl cause most construction workers are men, but i guess it’d be more up to the owner of the restaurant/cafe/bookstore/whatever. my strategy is to get in and out of the bathroom as quickly as i can to avoid any kind of girl stalker from the girl’s side of the mirror from stalking me.
it’s usually the kind of bathrooms where it’s just a 1-person bathroom. usually not the stall kind of bathrooms.
also, i wonder why some guys’ bathrooms made for one person have both a urinal and a toilet. it’s not like the toilet has a stall around it. there’s just a urinal and a toilet right next to each other. do they expect two people to go at the same time? or are they just being considerate and want to give guys a choice? they could’ve just gone with the toilet and gotten rid of the urinal.
while looking for an image, i found this: how to tell if a mirror is 2-way or not
i would love to work for espn’s advertising and marketing department. i think their commercials are so creative. there’s so many things you can do with sports and athletes. i mean, what athlete would refuse to do anything for sportscenter? they have no trouble finding a sports superstar to come and do a commercial for them. personally, i like the shaq one i showed earlier – anybody part infinity. but there’s also a couple that came on recently that i really liked:
but the one that i liked doesn’t feature an athlete at all. it features this guy i mentioned in my infomercial. billie mays!!
ahahahaha!!! his family has beards too!!!